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‘I am contemplating a prenup’: My fiancé is transferring to the U.S. to reside with me. My house is paid off. Wouldn’t it be honest to ask him to pay all of my family bills?

By Quentin Fottrell

‘I additionally wish to make it possible for after he is established right here and finds a job, we’re making good monetary choices’

Expensive Quentin,

I am a 37-year-old home-owner and a mother of 1 — 13 years previous — about to get married to a person who can be stepfather to my little one. My fiancé, 36, who’s transferring in with me after we marry, is a widowed mother or father himself.

He has a house in his dwelling nation that we intend to make use of as a trip dwelling (it is paid off), however he can be beginning anew right here together with his credit score rating, employment, shopping for a automotive, and so on. He has a grasp’s diploma, as do I, so I am optimistic he’ll transition effectively.

However, I too have paid off my dwelling and haven’t any school, automotive or credit-card debt, as I’ve paid all of it off and I pay my present credit-card invoice month-to-month. Once more, the identical is true for him. I like him and perceive he is giving up (and gaining) loads by transferring to the U.S.

However I wish to make it possible for after he is established right here and finds a job, we’re making good monetary choices. I am contemplating a prenuptial settlement, and wish to know what ought to be included to guard us each.

I not have a mortgage, so I am additionally questioning what can be a good approach to cut up bills. Wouldn’t it be honest for him to pay a lot of the family bills as there isn’t any mortgage right here? Is that honest, contemplating we might be vacationing at his dwelling a minimum of as soon as per 12 months?

What else ought to I take into account?

Worldwide Love

Expensive Worldwide Love,

You are marrying and mixing your households. You are additionally each householders, and you’ve got each paid off your mortgages. For that motive, I counsel you cut up the family bills equally. You could have separate bills on the maintenance, insurance coverage and taxes in your respective properties.

Each case of cohabiting is completely different. As an example, I didn’t counsel an equal cut up of bills — with no different bills — when this gentleman just lately wrote to me about how a lot to cost his girlfriend in hire. They weren’t settling down, and he nonetheless had a mortgage to pay.

A prenuptial settlement is a great transfer, particularly for individuals with kids. But it surely’s necessary to stipulate all potential outcomes. Prenups do not define what ought to occur to your kids if considered one of you need to die, however they do make monetary provisions for kids and stepchildren.

Beneath the oversight of an legal professional, prenups can specify the division of monetary accountability for every of your kids. Do you each contribute equally to your respective kids’s maintenance and schooling? (One caveat: Prenups which are too onerous may be overturned.)

You, for example, might want to depart your little one your own home in your will, however enable your husband a “life property,” which means he can reside within the household dwelling that you just personal for the remainder of his life. Additionally, you will wish to replace your beneficiaries. (Do you cut up your beneficiary designations between your little one and your husband?)

One observe of warning: In case your husband contributes to renovations of your own home or in any important method that would enhance the worth of that property, it may commingle that asset. So you ought to be cautious about sustaining separate financial institution accounts associated to your own home.

Good luck with the transfer, the prenup and the division of monetary obligations. Love wins, however transparency, planning, mutual respect and coming to an settlement that you’re each snug with will assist guarantee a cheerful and profitable life collectively.

You possibly can e-mail The Moneyist with any monetary and moral questions at, and comply with Quentin Fottrell on Twitter

Try the Moneyist non-public Fb group, the place we search for solutions to life’s thorniest cash points. Submit your questions, inform me what you wish to know extra about, or weigh in on the newest Moneyist columns.

The Moneyist regrets he can’t reply to questions individually.

Extra from Quentin Fottrell:

‘It seems like a lose-lose’: I’ve a $10 million internet price. My father-in-law has dementia. Am I chargeable for my in-laws in the event that they run out of cash?

Do I want to inform potential consumers that my husband died in the lounge of our dwelling? Precisely what should be disclosed earlier than promoting a home?

‘My aged uncle’s girl buddy could be very manipulative’: He loaned some huge cash to this girlfriend. How can we defend him? Will she be capable of contest his will?

-Quentin Fottrell

This content material was created by MarketWatch, which is operated by Dow Jones & Co. MarketWatch is printed independently from Dow Jones Newswires and The Wall Avenue Journal.


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